


Beginning Again

by bananasandroses (achuislemochroi)



Series: Whofic [23]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 2X00 (The Christmas Invasion), 2X01 (New Earth), Character Study, F/M, Interstitial, Introspection, Tenth Doctor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-03
Updated: 2009-08-03
Packaged: 2018-01-24 05:50:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1593887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achuislemochroi/pseuds/bananasandroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How is it the same when almost everything has changed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beginning Again

He suspects she thinks he is going to up and leave her here, now she is back home again and he’s better, and maybe once upon a time – in one of his previous lives, perhaps – he’d have done precisely that. But it’s now, not then, and he cannot see any way that he was _ever_ going to leave her, now he’d managed to get her to stay with this new him – and he can see he has a job to do to persuade Rose otherwise.

He knows it won't help because he hasn’t _told_ her, but, for a start, he isn’t that ungrateful. He’d literally killed himself for the love of her – okay he’d been looking for a way out anyway, but _that_ was _not_ the point – for after everything she had risked to save him, after everything she had done, he couldn’t just have let her die.

It wasn’t in him then, just as it isn’t in him _now_ to leave – even if perhaps that last decision goes against his better judgement. He had loved her dearly before, and had carried that love through the blaze of regeneration – he’d do it again for her without question, he knows that now – and with it tempered by that experience he now positively adores her.

He is beyond grateful that the two of them had been close enough to each other for him to be able to hug her to him at any time he feels like doing so; it gives this new body the outlet he needs to indulge his ever-growing need to touch her without freaking her out completely. He wants her, he’s decided, but there are an _unbelievable_ number of reasons why that would be a Very Bad Idea; still, a man could dream.

This dream, too, would appear to be something he’s acting on against his better judgement. He’s kissed her properly, with intent, for the first time in this body already.

It’d been shortly after they’d all walked away from Harriet Jones. Rose had seemed to want to lag behind with him rather than walk ahead with Mickey or her mother, and he’d done nothing to dissuade her. He’d still been in his borrowed night things, though, and being around Rose in those clothes had made him think of things he oughtn’t and he’d been unable to resist. A gentle, undemanding kiss – but _not_ chaste by anybody’s definition of that word – there’d been more than a hint of promise in it on his part and, he likes to think, on hers as well.

He’d broken the kiss somewhat reluctantly and sent Rose along without him, saying that he’d be along himself as soon as he’d had the chance to change out of her mother’s “friend”’s pyjamas. She’d opened her mouth to speak – this is where he’d picked up the theory that she didn’t quite trust him not to disappear on her; he supposes that he’d be of that opinion himself had he been travelling with his previous incarnation – and he’d elected to forestall any argument by kissing her quiet. And he's found that each time he kisses her the little dictatorial voice in his head urging him to stop at once gets that little bit easier to ignore.

And kissing her without the threat of imminent death – unless you count the threat of regeneration-by-frying-pan, which would probably happen if Jackie caught them at it – is quite the aphrodisiac, he's discovered; information he's keeping to himself for the time being but which he longs to share with Rose. One day. One day, _very soon_ , he shall.

They have spent several weeks at her mother's after that very hectic Christmas. She wanted to spend time with her mother; he had needed the extra time to recover fully from the last side-effects of the regeneration and its attendant sickness. He had drunk the flat out of tea on more than one occasion; he’d apologised profusely, of course, but was it his fault that tea, and lots of it, is what his body needed? More important than anything, though, is the priceless opportunity it’s given the two of them to get to know each other all over again. Himself and Rose are now practically inseparable; over these past few weeks gentle flirting has gradually given way to flirting – and touching – with far more heat behind it. He knows it’s not particularly wise to let himself become so attached, but it feels so good he really doesn't care, and the little dictatorial voice inside him has almost disappeared. He has always loved Rose, but it is beginning to look – even to him – that he is starting to fall _in_ love with her, too.

He foresees squalls ahead.

Chiefly, if he’s honest, he foresees trouble with Mickey – for, after all, the man is still at least nominally Rose’s boyfriend. He has the distinct impression that Mickey isn’t at _all_ happy with how he is monopolising Rose’s attention. He supposes the man has a point; he has, after all, barely been able to let her out of his sight since the conversation the two of them had in the “snow” on Christmas evening. He’s waiting for Mickey, or even Jackie he supposes, to challenge him about it, and although he feels confident that he could win any such challenge it makes him feel nervous all the same.

He’s decided that he’ll plead extenuating circumstances, and hopefully manage to throw off any potential challenge before it starts; when he had woken up after the regeneration sickness with a clear mind the overwhelming fear was that he’d scared her off. He had been terrified, and had made up his mind that he would do anything to get her to change her mind. _Anything_. When she had taken his hand and agreed to come with him the relief had been indescribable.

Since then, Rose has been his one focus; where his dealings with her are concerned the one other person whose opinion mattered to him in the slightest was _hers_. Mickey, Jackie – everybody else, if he’s honest – come a _very_ poor second.

Fair? No, of course it isn’t. But he has what he wants, what he needs, which is Rose – and he’s so wrapped up in her that he’s struggling to feel any guilt at all.

  



End file.
